What happened today is…

First off Sunday night was amazing! I have never felt so alive in Christ. He just completely broke me and reassured me that I do have feelings. God knows just the right thing to say to me when I need Him. He knows how to melt my heart and how to make me realize I can do things through Him. He love us SO much! Which makes me love Him all the more! God has been speaking to my heart and has been melting it more and more every day. I just want so much of Him it is crazy. I would so anything for Him…

Any who that brings me to my next point. Our pastor is so awesome! His vision is so immensely BIG. He wants to see God move so much in our state. His passion for lost people makes me all that more love God and it just gets me fired up. Mike, you are the best pastor anyone could ask for! I know WE ALL LOVE YOU! 

Okay. I have been reading Ephesians so much lately and it is just making me realize how much God wants us to work together as a team. We were not meant to live this life alone we were meant to work as one. We can’t do everything we weren’t created for everything. It  says in Ephesians 4 we are to humble ourselves. Humble ourselves? Why? We are suppose to humble ourselves so we can allow other to use their gifts and talents too. If I don’t humble myself every once and a while man would things suck! I can’t do much but what I can I do well. If I tried to do something I can’t do because of pride it would look terrible. HUMBLE YOURSELF FOOL! Let someone else do it! haha. love each other build each other up. Encouragement is awesome. when someone thinks they are going to just die when someone encourages them it is like someone pumped adrenaline into their veins it is awesome. God encourages us through His word. When we feel He is not there it is because we don’t let Him be there. God is slowly breaking my wall. The wall I have placed around my heart. All because of poor choices I have made, but God is so much stronger than me I just need to give Him my heart and nothing will be able to hurt me because I have the big guy on my side! Alright well I am done here for now haha.

I have been thinking so much lately just about how I can improve myself and where I am lacking in areas. I started reading Ephesians 3… and I came upon a passage talking about how wide and long and deep God’s love is… How His love surpasses all knowledge. We can’t even fathom how much He really loves us. I don’t feel it any more. I have come to that brick wall. The wall I have put in place between me and God. I have been thinking of how to move it. Hm. can’t move a brick wall, too heavy. So I thought walk around it? Nope, never ending. What about going over it? Nope, too high. I have built it so high so I couldn’t get hurt right? Wrong I have put a wall up between me and God because I am afraid. Scared of what He wants me to do. What if I can’t do it. One brick down. What if I am too inexperienced? Another brick down. I keep asking all of these doubtful questions all of them another brick added to my never ending wall of shame inbetween me and God. The God who loves me without a shadow of a doubt. A God whose love is unfathomable. A God whose love is so wide, so deep, so great. How could I let myself build this wall between us? over time. it happens over time. Now all I can hear myself say is ruin me Lord. Ruin me and the wall I have put between us. Ruin me…..ruin me….ruin me Lord. Make me fall flat on my face before you break my wall. Ruin me.

So today was a terrible day. A TERRIBLE day. First off I am not feeling well again. I started loosing my voice. sickness is no picnic. Anywho work was busy (I was on drive thru and everyone decided that their legs were broken or something) I was trying so hard not to cough all over everything or sneeze for that matter. By the end of the day I ended up being 100 dollars over in my drawer. Not so good. So I had to add all my work and match it. Because I didnt feel well I called out of Dunkin I feel terrible doing that. I hate calling out. Today was just a bad day for me. I do hope God has a plan for me in all of this. patience? is He teaching me patience, maybe? Whatever it is I am not too fond of it right now. humf. I am going to go to bed. Yes, at 5:30 on a monday  I want to go to bed.

I have been learning a lot lately. I have an amazing pastor and and an amazing church! I get to bless them with the money I make. I love how I am able to be used. The Angel Tree project was something I love being a part of even though I wish I could have seen the children’s faces when they received the gifts. I am just glad I was able to wrap some. I love wrapping. God is so amazing he keeps melting my heart to do more with my life and to do give all I can so He can be glorified through me. I wish I would give Him more of me. That is where I have the most problem. I want to fall inlove with everyday. I just get so caught up in work and what I have to do for the day. God just enwrap me with your love! Take hold of my heart and never let go!

So I’ve been so busy lately. I am working all the time and trying to see where God takes me with things. I love Cinema Church it is so amazing and I love everything I am learning so much about God. I cant wait for it to launch so everyone I know can experience church and God in a new way! Check it out. Cinema Church

Okay I am going to try and do this again. Well a lot has been going on since I’ve last posted. I’ve been down lately because of it but things are starting to look up. I am learning how to be a strong person again and how to be more outgoing again. I’ve been trying to get back into God I got side tracked but I feel close to Him again just by everything I do and looking around me and admiring things again. Our God is amazing I didn’t know if you knew that. I have amazing friends I take for granted I need to stop looking at my hurt and what I’m going through I feel so selfish sometimes. Yes, I was hurt but it is not all about me. There IS a bigger picture to this and things do happen for a reason I am a strong believer of that. These times right now we need to lean on God more than ever I see everyone just getting so discouraged and just loosing heart and what they even were thinking when they started Cinema Church. People who were whole hearted in the beginning are now slowly withering away I just want to get a worship night where we can celebrate OUR LORD, OUR CREATOR, OUR FATHER! We are His children why can’t we have a huge party for him and just be a little selfish and focus on our hearts one time and just have a God celebration? I dunno I am rambling. Tonight was so good. I got to hang out with an amazing person and watch a movie. Certainly needed a night where I didn’t think so much. SOOO anyone who wants to chill just call. I am always down for anything. I’ll make time for you whenever! It is time for bed God is amazing just remember that even in the worst of times He is peeking His head around the corner waiting to HUG the crap out of you and make you feel like a million bucks!

I decided to do this. I have had a late starting to this, but I hope to catch up soon with everyone.

Key Verse:
Acts 1:24-25
“Then they prayed, ‘Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.’”

Reflection:
It is so amazing at how the disciples just prayed to God for everything. It is such an encouragement. Prayer is so much more powerful then we could ever know. I learned from this that I should pray so much more to God about everything in my life and I should even pray to Him about the people I hang out with because He knows everyone’s hearts. I want to be able to look to Him and be able to say Lord who should I hang out with you know everyone’s hearts you know where I should be. Make it known to me.

Prayer:
Lord, I want to be able to talk to you so much more than I do. Please just be forever with me and help me to make the right choices Lord. Thank you for always being there for me even when I don’t deserve it. Amen.

Okay so on Sunday Mike challenged me with trusting God with my money. This past week I have been going through some financial drainage and I only had a half of a quarter of a tank of gas and only ten dollars in my pockets with nothing in the bank accounts. I needed that ten dollars to get to work and to get back home. Giving anything of what I had in my pockets would mean I would have to make an uncomfortable sacrifice something that would make me rely on God something I was wrestling with in my head. Well is it so wrong of me to keep this money? I NEED it I need it to get to work. Mike’s words running through my head with God’s Holy Spirit making my heart thump harder and harder. I just needed one more push when I asked my mom, “hey will I be able to get to work this whole week on five dollars?” My mother didn’t answer instead Sarrete yells out trust God Danielle with that I gave what my heart told me to give. Later that day I went and put that five dollars in my gas tank giving me “half a gallon” as Ray would say. Looked at my gas gage not move at all was depressing. Jokingly saying hey this is the most gas I’ve ever gotten while thinking God you have to get my through this week. I drive to work today and it was business as usual. Then I opened my e-mail and the president of my job decides to give every employee a 50 dollars gas card because he appreciates us and because of gas prices. I was like WHAT! GOD IS AWESOME! I almost cried. I wanted to tell everyone what this meant for me. He gave me so much more than I was expecting. WOOOOOO

I signed up for an ebay account. not sure why I did this. I guess now I can sell things online. yippee?? I have been seeing that I need to rely on God with everything I do especially with finances. I get discouraged when I see that I don’t have a lot but then again it makes me happy because just like the Bible says, to much is given much is expected. Then I was also reminded that if I have an orphanage I have to learn to live with little and not depend on myself to run it I have to fully rely on God. He gives so much to us. Well I am trying not to focus so much on it. the more I worry the less I have the less I care the more I get. I think it is strange when it happens that way for me. Oh well. Does anyone have any ideas on what is a great chapter of the Bible to read through? One that will get me so pumped? I know it is all good, but you should know what I mean.

I have today off and decided to look at my bank account too see if I put enough money in to cover some costs. This depresses me. it is slowly but surely dwindling down into nothing. makes me sad to have to pay bills. I am going to look up. This is the only way I can truly rely on God is to put my trust in Him and know He will sustain me when I need him most.