What happened today is…

So I have been trying to look at my life from the outside. Almost I am evaluating my life as if it wasn’t even my own. Here is how it looks so far. I am placing my hope in unhopeful things. I am putting “my ladder” on breakable walls without even realizing it. I am so happy to have Mike as my pastor. He puts things into perspective. I recently asked a friend how does he even put his faith in God how does he lean on Him and Him alone. He told me that we need to meditate on Him push for Him and know that nothing else matters. Honestly nothing else does matter apart from Him. Where would we be if He wasn’t the only thing that mattered? We wouldn’t even be here without Him. I have been struggling with this mind set my whole life. My whole walk with Him I have been trying to place my hope in something other than Him all the while He has been sitting there saying…Look at me. Just look at me. Hope in me. Trust me. How many times do you say just trust me and you know that person doesn’t really trust you? How awful does that make you feel when you know that you are telling the truth. I think that God looks at us when we say we trust you and He knows in His heart we really don’t it breaks His heart. I forget how much He loves us. How much He cares. We break His heart and we don’t even realize it.