Tuesday.
SO life has been super crazy busy. PLEASE don’t stop moving! When we stand still that is when we have no productivity in our lives. I am so excited about this next sunday I can barely stand still! I just want to dance scream and shout! God is definitely moving in this state and it is unlike anything I have ever experienced! How can one not be moving? How can we just sit there and stand still! GET A MOVE ON IT!
Wednesday.
So I have been trying to look at my life from the outside. Almost I am evaluating my life as if it wasn’t even my own. Here is how it looks so far. I am placing my hope in unhopeful things. I am putting “my ladder” on breakable walls without even realizing it. I am so happy to have Mike as my pastor. He puts things into perspective. I recently asked a friend how does he even put his faith in God how does he lean on Him and Him alone. He told me that we need to meditate on Him push for Him and know that nothing else matters. Honestly nothing else does matter apart from Him. Where would we be if He wasn’t the only thing that mattered? We wouldn’t even be here without Him. I have been struggling with this mind set my whole life. My whole walk with Him I have been trying to place my hope in something other than Him all the while He has been sitting there saying…Look at me. Just look at me. Hope in me. Trust me. How many times do you say just trust me and you know that person doesn’t really trust you? How awful does that make you feel when you know that you are telling the truth. I think that God looks at us when we say we trust you and He knows in His heart we really don’t it breaks His heart. I forget how much He loves us. How much He cares. We break His heart and we don’t even realize it.
Wednesday.
Weird going to be seeing my Dad today he called me… Having lunch. I don’t know what we are going to talk about at all. haha.. wish me luck? very short post 
Tuesday.
Sunday was awesome. Me and Joann finally got together and talked about Cinema Children things and got more ideas brewing. I am really excited about the things to come with Cinema Church and I can not wait for us to just EXPLODE! I am still get things in line and I def. have to start relying on God so much more. I have been a little down the past week for some reason I “fell off the horse” with the different Bible studies I have been doing and I started slacking on spending time with God. Sometimes I loose focus and look at all the other people at my age running around doing whatever they want whenever they want spending all sorts of money going out getting drunk/high whatever it may be. I see them having “fun” in a sense. That’s when I start comparing. BUT I have realized I don’t need to do all that “cool stuff” to be cool. I don’t need to be stupid and being wild to have a good time. SO now that I am over that little blip in emotion I realized WHY I love God so much and WHY I need to be different why I WANT to be different. It is so much more than a good time. What they have will not last forever and it is very empty and usually ends in heart ache. It is all just a cover up for the way they really feel about themselves. Lonely/shameful/abused/scared…There are so many people out there who go do stupid things just so they can feel something other than their own pain. I am free because I know Jesus is my Lord and my Saviour I know that I am always loved by Him. I just wish they knew how it feels to be loved unconditionally by someone. I have been thinking about things like this. How can I help? How can I show people that life is so much more than they know. This world is DEPRESSING without something to live for. And it breaks my heart.
