What happened today is…

Lately I’ve been realizing things and seeing that I am getting angry at alot of things all the time. I am not really sure why I keep acting this way. I don’t like it. I hate being an angry person and snapping at everyone. God please help me with this. I don’t want to be one of those people who people never want to be around. Life for me feels so boring. I don’t do anything any more. I go to work come home go to ray’s or sit around. I hate that. I want more excitement in my life. I wanted to take bike classes so I can buy a bike. Then I was thinking about how I was going to buy a quad. Oh well. Then I feel like I am being so selfish because here I have so much and all I do is complain about what I don’t have or what I am not doing. Thats when I get upset because then I am like how can I be so ungrateful it is an on going cycle something that is hard to get out of. Why are people so selfish? We take and take and take never thinking about others. I want to be others oriented. I wish I could give everything, but sometimes I am scared because then how will I live? I know God has my back, but am I willing to give it all. I want to be. I really do. blah. that is all i can think of. blah. HELP! Get me out of this on going cycle.