Acts 1

I decided to do this. I have had a late starting to this, but I hope to catch up soon with everyone.

Key Verse:
Acts 1:24-25
“Then they prayed, ‘Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.’”

Reflection:
It is so amazing at how the disciples just prayed to God for everything. It is such an encouragement. Prayer is so much more powerful then we could ever know. I learned from this that I should pray so much more to God about everything in my life and I should even pray to Him about the people I hang out with because He knows everyone’s hearts. I want to be able to look to Him and be able to say Lord who should I hang out with you know everyone’s hearts you know where I should be. Make it known to me.

Prayer:
Lord, I want to be able to talk to you so much more than I do. Please just be forever with me and help me to make the right choices Lord. Thank you for always being there for me even when I don’t deserve it. Amen.

Monday.

Okay so on Sunday Mike challenged me with trusting God with my money. This past week I have been going through some financial drainage and I only had a half of a quarter of a tank of gas and only ten dollars in my pockets with nothing in the bank accounts. I needed that ten dollars to get to work and to get back home. Giving anything of what I had in my pockets would mean I would have to make an uncomfortable sacrifice something that would make me rely on God something I was wrestling with in my head. Well is it so wrong of me to keep this money? I NEED it I need it to get to work. Mike’s words running through my head with God’s Holy Spirit making my heart thump harder and harder. I just needed one more push when I asked my mom, “hey will I be able to get to work this whole week on five dollars?” My mother didn’t answer instead Sarrete yells out trust God Danielle with that I gave what my heart told me to give. Later that day I went and put that five dollars in my gas tank giving me “half a gallon” as Ray would say. Looked at my gas gage not move at all was depressing. Jokingly saying hey this is the most gas I’ve ever gotten while thinking God you have to get my through this week. I drive to work today and it was business as usual. Then I opened my e-mail and the president of my job decides to give every employee a 50 dollars gas card because he appreciates us and because of gas prices. I was like WHAT! GOD IS AWESOME! I almost cried. I wanted to tell everyone what this meant for me. He gave me so much more than I was expecting. WOOOOOO

Wednesday.

I signed up for an ebay account. not sure why I did this. I guess now I can sell things online. yippee?? I have been seeing that I need to rely on God with everything I do especially with finances. I get discouraged when I see that I don’t have a lot but then again it makes me happy because just like the Bible says, to much is given much is expected. Then I was also reminded that if I have an orphanage I have to learn to live with little and not depend on myself to run it I have to fully rely on God. He gives so much to us. Well I am trying not to focus so much on it. the more I worry the less I have the less I care the more I get. I think it is strange when it happens that way for me. Oh well. Does anyone have any ideas on what is a great chapter of the Bible to read through? One that will get me so pumped? I know it is all good, but you should know what I mean.

Tuesday.

I have today off and decided to look at my bank account too see if I put enough money in to cover some costs. This depresses me. it is slowly but surely dwindling down into nothing. makes me sad to have to pay bills. I am going to look up. This is the only way I can truly rely on God is to put my trust in Him and know He will sustain me when I need him most.

Monday.

Since yesterday things are looking up. I started reading the book Habakkuk. Yes, a very random part of the Bible to be reading one must think, but it is a part of the Bible I have not read and also Ray suggested it. I started reading it and in the very first parts of the chapter it is where the prophet of God is complaining. I laughed inside when I read it. How many times do we complain in one single day? in an hour? even just one minute. So much of many of our lives is spent complaining. In habakkuk 1:2 it says, “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, ‘Violence!’ but you do not save?”. When has God not listened to us? He always listens and he always answers. Maybe we are not listening. It is funny when you read down a little farther in the chapter. verse 5 “Look at the nations and watch- be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” Sometimes we just have to be patient and watch and be amazed as what is going to happen. Be patient, still, listen, wait and just watch and be utterly amazed to see what is going to happen. Something SO great we wouldn’t believe it even if we were told. Something we can only imagine by watching.

So I am going to stop being so angry I’ve decided and I am going to stop and watch the good things in my life. I am going to try and be UTTERLY amazed by God and all He is doing around me and everyone I know. I am going to stop complaining that God is not listening when He has been listening the entire time and just whispering in my ear to watch and be utterly amazed.

Sunday.

Lately I’ve been realizing things and seeing that I am getting angry at alot of things all the time. I am not really sure why I keep acting this way. I don’t like it. I hate being an angry person and snapping at everyone. God please help me with this. I don’t want to be one of those people who people never want to be around. Life for me feels so boring. I don’t do anything any more. I go to work come home go to ray’s or sit around. I hate that. I want more excitement in my life. I wanted to take bike classes so I can buy a bike. Then I was thinking about how I was going to buy a quad. Oh well. Then I feel like I am being so selfish because here I have so much and all I do is complain about what I don’t have or what I am not doing. Thats when I get upset because then I am like how can I be so ungrateful it is an on going cycle something that is hard to get out of. Why are people so selfish? We take and take and take never thinking about others. I want to be others oriented. I wish I could give everything, but sometimes I am scared because then how will I live? I know God has my back, but am I willing to give it all. I want to be. I really do. blah. that is all i can think of. blah. HELP! Get me out of this on going cycle.

Monday.

okay so I haven’t exactly been on here in a while and I apologize there really is no good excuse I can say without it being totally lame. Well here is what is going on in my life. I applied to tunxis community college and was accepted. I am going back to school. Cinema church is going swimmingly so far. I have been thinking about many different things like where am I needed and where will I fit best. I am thinking I need to talk to God more. I feel as if I have been letting Him down lately. Which will probably explain why my feelings of self worth have been going slopingly down. I wish I didn’t fail so much. I am only human but that is no excuse. I am tired of lame excuses I want to get into a really strong fellowship with other women my age. I am stoked about starting up a small group with girls my age and not my mother. yes I love my mother but c’mon there is only so much you can share comfortably when parents are around. Today was a good day because it showed me that when I feel the lowest of the low my friends are here and that I do infact have friends who do love me and are willing to be there for me even if their b/f wants to see them. My brain is on an overload of information and I am just spilling it all out. There are people in my life I am so thankful they are there. People I take advantage of and wish I showed them more. Sometimes I ask God where are you? Why do you seem so far away from me? Now I see it is more God saying where are you? why have you gone from me? I just don’t know any more. BLAHHH is what I a thinking right now. How does it seem so much easier for other people? I know this is not an easy walk but how do some people just say HEY JESUS I am laying it all in your hands. I wish I could do that I WANT to do that. I will. I want to open an orphanage one day I want to go into full time ministry I want to serve the Lord with every ounce of my being. I just feel like I am never good enough to. Not worthy to even stand on something He made. Not worthy to even be alive. Which is why I owe my entire life to Him. I am not sure where I am going. I am going no where thats for sure. So I am ending this.

Monday.

Today is monday. The day not many people like because it is the day after the weekend and the one day furthest away from the next weekend to come. But I am trying to look positive on this day. Something I wont say will be easy. First off I am going to praise God I am alive, So thank you God for permitting me another day to walk this earth and to breathe your Holy name. Second, I will go off to work and not complain, try not to at least, and be pleasant to all the people who come in today. Third, I will come home and relax hopefully. This is what I hope my day to pan out to. If it does that I am not quite sure. Well enough of that. My life up to this point is pretty good, but it can always be better. I am trying to strive harder towards what I need to do in my life rather than sitting around watching it pass me by with me wondering where did the time go? What have I been doing my whole life!? I am going to live each day to its full potential, or at least try to. This will be no simple task I will falter and want to just rip people’s heads off, but I need to do something. Working without complaining, just being thankful I have a job when I know so many people struggling to just find one. I am going to stop being lazy because it is easy. I want to be challenged everyday with something that I don’t necessarily know how to do. I want people to need me to help. I love helping it is what God created me to do, if you ask me to do something I will do it to the best of my ability and love every second of it. One thing I am going to do before I leave this earth is start an orphanage. I know in my heart that I was put here to save and help people who can not help themselves. I want to do that. Mike’s message last night was amazing. It has gotten me to want to do what I was called to do and stop slacking off. I know I don’t give that much credit to people I should give credit to. So Mike if you ever read this I just want you to know that I love hearing you speak and I love how God has used you in such an amazing way. I love how your visions seem so out there but it challenges me to do more and not to be complacent in this world. It always speaks to me in one way or another. I know if it were not for God using you and sending you to cross my path I would not be who I am or where I am today. So thank you for all that you do each day and for being just the example everyone can follow. There are many others I have not thanked before and I will do that. but for now I must go to work or I will be late. God bless.

Thursday.

So. I have not exactly been here that much. Mostly because I don’t know what to “blog” about. Well I babysat yesterday and I was just thinking about it today. We are meant to have faith like a child and I can see why they are just so believing all the time. You tell them something and they believe you no matter what you say. If you told them there was going to be marshmallows falling from the sky they will look up and wait I am sure. They tell you exactly what they want every time and expect you to be so proud of them. They want all the attention they can get and they still don’t know right from wrong and just want to please. Why can’t we have that much faith? Why do we always question and don’t step out in faith? Why are we so content in being where we are comfortable? I have a problem with having a childlike faith. I can own up to it. the question is am I going to do anything about it? We are so content in sitting there and doing nothing about it. This is going to be my challenge this week. Anyone can hold me to this. Please do. Test me Lord test me and hold me to this! Make me move and have faith in you!

Tuesday.

Today was a pretty good day. I have been very busy these past few weeks. I am excited about my new job, and not so excited about the time it takes up. I am still learning out to manage my time. I have been learning alot lately about relationships though. I have a boyfriend now who is a christian and keeps me accountable all the time and who is simply amazing. I can definitely see the Lord working in his life. Although I would like to spend every moment with him I know I can not. So the Lord is teaching me patience so I can learn to put Him first and for most in my life. I love that I can tell ray I need to stop spending so much time with him so I can spend more time with my Lord and Saviour. It is awesome. God is teaching me so much through work too. It is teaching me that I have to be very careful. haha and that people are weird and I still have to be nice to them and talk to them. oh well. I am still getting the hang of things. I will try and keep up with this as time goes on. God bless.